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Wednesday, July 19, 2017

The Bugs That Must Not Be Named

There is a huge stigma attached to bed bugs...that is to say, if you have them, you do NOT want other people to know that you have them.  If other people find out, you are publicly ostracized, in some cases exiled and in all cases, bug shamed!


And being bug shamed is horrible!  It's like back in the days when they had leper colonies...someone finds out that the folks next door have bed bugs and it's 'on like Donkey Kong!'  

Neighbor's wife:  "Did you hear that THEY HAVE BED BUGS?  UGH!"

Neighbor: "Yes, I did...they threw their mattresses out on the curb.  Some poor, unknowing trash collector or hoarder might have driven up and thought they found themselves a nice pile of mattresses!  Well!  I put a stop to that---I took a piece of sheet rock and spray-painted, in RED, 'DO NOT TOUCH----BED BUG INFESTED!!!!'"

Neighbor's wife: "Good for you, the NERVE of some people! DID wash your hands afterward, didn't you?" 

Neighbor: "Oh, I didn't get near enough to the heap...I used the sheet rock as a shield, stood it on its side and heaved it so it would lean on top, for everyone who drives by to see."

Neighbor's wife: "Well GOOD! I wish we could move but now that everyone knows we live next to the Bed Bug Hotel, we'll never find a buyer...there goes our home values!"

What happens next involves pitch-forks, torches and an angry mob.

Bug Shamed!!!

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